Open Letter to Jennifer Lawrence

My dear, Jennifer Mockingjay Lawrence,

You truly are “The Girl on Fire”. I have never known someone to fall down so often and so gracefully, but when you do, the revolution in Panem isn’t the only thing “catching fire”.

Even outside of playing Katniss Everdeen, you are supposed to be a good shot with a bow and arrow. You should know that I too used a bow and arrow once and almost didn’t miss. Regardless of my accuracy with a bow and arrow (or lack thereof), I know exactly what we’ll be doing on our first, second, and forever date, or at least until you get bored. (And since I’m willing to lay down with an apple in my mouth and let you shoot at me, there’s no possible way you could be.)

Now, don’t take this the wrong way, but I also heard you like eating, and especially pizza. (I mean, who doesn’t?) If I ever ask if you’re hungry and you reply, “Yeah, I could eat”, know that I know that you’re starving and that we’ll soon be piling into my parents’ 2002 Honda Odyssey (I’ll do you the courtesy of driving), hitting the nearest pizza joint, ordering one of everything, and engorging ourselves like we aren’t going to feel sick and disgusting tomorrow. As long as that’s what you want, of course.

As for your previous significant others, I don’t have anything against them except for the fact they aren’t me. But not entirely.

Though you never actually dated Josh Hutcherson, just in case, I’m going to cover him and the character he portrayed anyway. Sure, he’s attractive, but I’m also drop-dead gorgeous if I do say so myself (and I do). And if you like him for his fascination with bread, you should know that I can make a mean buttered toast and once ordered a “hot dog with just bun”. (Note: I’m also open to eating other carbohydrates and starches as well as any other unhealthy foods. Like you, dieting is not my game to play.) Peeta Mellark is supposedly a pretty good artist from practice with all of that frosting he used in his family’s bakery, but I can draw and paint and color inside the lines as well and very well. So basically, with me, you’re getting everything good about Josh Hutcherson/Peeta Mellark and then some.

As for Chris Martin from Coldplay, if you’re expecting me to sing to you like he did, well, I can’t. Although, I do know all the words to the best song ever written, “The Hanging Tree - Rebel Remix”, and as such, might be able to lip-sync (but not sing) it for you. (Dancing not included).

You say that you were attracted to Darren Aronofsky because of his talent and brilliance. I don’t deny he has both of those, but I’m equally (if not more) talented and brilliant. Not to mention he is twenty-one years your senior. And if you’re willing to date someone so much older than you, in a few more years, why not someone ten years younger? (We should wait a few years not only so I’m older, but so I can hopefully grow taller than you. If I don’t, I’m completely fine looking up if it means I’m looking up at you.)

With that said, beloved, if this letter ever does find its way to you, you should know that I would volunteer for tribute, fight in every Hunger Games, and… Actually, no, I wouldn’t. I’ll really be lounging on my couch, eating chips, and watching your movies with a throbbing heart.

To our future together,

Steven Noll

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The DMV, The Happiest Place on Earth

Write about how you started driving (or why you don't).
It was only two months ago that I passed the written driving exam and obtained my learner's permit. Considering I turned sixteen in November of 2016, I discovered that I'm able to not only put off school assignments, but other things as well, namely driving. For whatever reason, I insisted that I wasn't prepared to drive, and thus deliberately provided any excuse I could to delay the attainment of my learner's permit. As one of my friends pulled up to school one day in a rusty, unhinged car, I figured that I could still wait to get my license. That is, until a few weeks later when another one of my friends pulled up to school behind the wheel. Then another. And another. Finally, as I engaged in lively banter with my circle of friends during breaks, I was surprised to find that I was the only one to not have a patterned lanyard dangling gleefully from my pocket, concealing a ring of keys at the bottom. As I stood there, envying my friends and their sleek licenses, I finally took the initiative to complete the online driver's training program that I had started months prior. 

Although I had finished the online program quite quickly after that point, I was unable to take the written exam because the local DMV was only open during school hours and closed during the weekends, leaving me with the options of either skipping school or waiting a few extra weeks. Of course, I waited the few extra weeks, dreading the fact that after studying for academic finals, I would have to study for another final of sorts: the driving written exam. However, because I was so motivated to start practicing actual driving prior to the start of the new school year, I studied incessantly, refusing to stop reviewing and covering any and all material related to driving. As I scheduled an appointment at the DMV, I was astonished to find that I only had to wait a few days, not months, for an appointment. 

Now, it probably would have been more appropriate if I hadn't burst into the DMV, smiling and waving, but I couldn't help it. I was delighted to start driving, but from the looks of everyone waiting around in rigid chairs, I got the impression that I was the only person in the building happy to be there. 

I can tell you with great confidence that I had over-prepared for the written driver's exam. I was ready to write free response answers on parallel parking or entering the freeway, but in the end, it was all simple multiple choice. I can also say with great confidence that the textbook knowledge I gained of driving from such intense studying continues to benefit me as I drive behind the wheel. 

Sure, I've been honked at already, and yes, I've run over curbs as well, but I haven't had any issues with when to stop or go or identifying signs and their corresponding meaning. However, it is especially important that I learn to better control the vehicle because I have three younger siblings, which really means I have three younger people I'll have to start driving to practices and picking up from school. I must say that I don't drive for leisure or pleasure, I certainly don't find it "fun" or "enjoyable", but it is an essential skill, and hopefully one that I improve throughout the next few months. Because if not, I'll find myself being chauffeured everywhere by my mother. 

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Garlic-and-Onion Gum

Write a thank-you note to someone who gave you garlic-and-onion flavored gum.

George,

As I sit here writing this letter, meticulously forming my letters, deliberately formulating my thoughts, I can’t help but be disgusted at my reeking breath, and even more so disgusted at you. I don’t know how you figured it out. I haven’t told anyone, not even my parents. Yet there you were, striding up to me on some random day to offer me a piece of gum. Excuse me, a piece of garlic-and-onion flavored chewing gum. And you know what? You’re right. I do have a fear of bad breath, and if it weren’t for you, that’d still be a secret. I can envision it now. After I had eaten my lunch, I slipped away from the cafeteria and ran to the nearest bathroom just a few minutes before we were dismissed. Positive that no one else was lurking around, I gingerly took out my toothbrush and toothpaste. After one more cautious glance, I squirted my toothpaste onto my toothbrush and vigorously brushed every corner and crevice of my mouth. After minutes of brushing, I swished, blew, and spit out the toothpaste and topped it all off with a shot of mouthwash. I felt refreshed. At least that is, until you showed up. I was leaving the bathroom, flashing my gums when you came up to me and smiling, cupped a piece of gum in my hand, saying “This way your freshness will last all day.” With a grin, I popped the gum in my mouth and you ran off. It was only after I had returned to the classroom that I noticed. Noticed the fermenting flavors in my previously immaculate, pristine mouth. Bottles of mouthwash later, a burgeoning hint of mint is finally developing, but I’ll probably have to brush for the next thirty minutes to completely rid my mouth of that vile substance. So for now, I’ll try my very best to avoid you and especially your gum at all costs. As for you, don’t be surprised if I’ve replaced your water with mouthwash. Thanks again, but next time, don’t bother.

Cheers,

Samuel Orla

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The Two Biggest Lies of Every Reader

When I'm not blogging or napping, (which isn't very often), I'm most likely slouching in a leather chair, picking my way through a novel or writing one of my own. Now, like most readers, I hate being interrupted. Therefore, when I'm intently reading and clearly do not wish to be bothered, when asked, "What are you reading?", without glancing away from the page, I silently raise my book so that the title is clearly displayed. And sure, it's slightly annoying to respond to such questions as "What are you reading?", but since I as a reader haven't lied yet, no harm no foul.

Now, we all know that one person who insists on a thorough plot summary as well as character analysis in response to the question, "What are you reading?" And when this known individual comes around asking "What are you reading?" while I'm slouched in my leather chair and perhaps sipping a warm drink, without moving my head, I lift just my eyes from the page to glare directly into theirs. Like so.

                                

And if that isn't enough and a spoken answer is required, all readers (myself included), smile sharply and utter these two lies.
Interrogator: What are you reading?
Reader: A book.
Interrogator: What's it about?
Reader: Oh, nothing.

A book?! Oh nothing?! Now those statements are indeed, the two biggest lies of every reader. When you respond to the "interrogator" with the phrase, "a book," sure, you're telling the literal, fundamental truth, but you're still lying. You're lying, because you're not just reading "a book", you're exploring and discovering a new existence. You're absorbing the lifeblood of another reader who at some point decided that they not only wanted to read and explore, but wanted to write and create. You're not reading words on a page, you're reading the lives and experiences of those whom you have never met before.

And even worse, you have the audacity to say that the book you're reading is about, "oh, nothing"? Because the book you're reading is most certainly about something. And that "something" is important enough to you that you're willing to momentarily leave the "something" of your own life to attempt to experience and understand that "something" of another person's life.

So, the next time you're asked the question, "What are you reading?", be sure that you remain the honest reader and don't answer, "a book." And when you're also asked, "What's it about?", don't respond, "Oh, nothing." Because that would be lying, and only writers lie.

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Corners - A Short Story

Writing Prompt: Write about someone that was buried alive.

I’ve always despised enclosed, suffocating spaces. Yet there I was, in an enclosed, suffocating space buried several feet under layers of dark soil. Consequential to hours of incessant shouting, my throat and lungs were raw and tense. In a vain attempt to soothe the pain and conserve the remaining air, I breathed slowly and deliberately, consciously inhaling small sums of oxygen and subsequently holding my breath. However, even in small doses, with each spurt of air I inhaled, claws scraped my flaking lips and slithered down through my esophagus, only to puncture my already coarse lungs.

  

           Although each inhalation was punctuated by such fits of splintering anguish, as I lay in silence, detecting my haphazard breathing pattern, I realized that I had never considered that the interiors of coffins could be so comfortably furnished. I relaxed and allowed my eyelids to drift to a close, actively prodding and poking my surroundings while delighting in the soft, padded frame of my confinement. Contorting into a curled position, I patted what felt like a blanket covering my lower body and pulled it toward my head, simultaneously nestling the side of my head into a thick pillow.

As comfortable as the coffin’s interior was, as I relaxed, numb to the excruciating pain I had endured for hours prior, I lurched upright, slamming my head into the also padded overhead casing of the coffin. Shuddering, I quickly recovered and concentrated my efforts into escaping my enclosure. Sucking a breath in, I heaved upward, my shoulder rising to shrug against the ceiling of the coffin. Unsuccessful, I tried again, but crouched and braced my legs to provide extra support and leverage. As I strained my neck, tensing every tendon and fiber of my body, my legs soon collapsed and I lay motionless and silent. Raising my hand, I caressed my palm on the ceiling of the coffin, feeling no difference in the overhead casing save for minor creases it had suffered following my attempt to escape.

Returning to a prostrate position, as I squinted, attempting to make out any distinguishable detail from the coffin’s interior, it was only then that I noticed how penetrating the darkness of the coffin’s interior was. I was essentially gazing into a dense, velvet nothingness that folded and twisted around my limbs. I viciously clawed at the darkness, desperately trying to peel away any layer of blackness I could, until I felt an odd protrusion on the far end of the coffin’s overhead casing.

My heart thundering and beads of sweat crowning my forehead, I shifted my torso to face the condensed protrusion. With an outstretched palm parallel to the floor of the coffin, I fingered the ceiling until I brushed across the fine lettering. Punctuated with spaces and capitals, I traced the lettering with my fingernail, struggling to make out the sentence I assumed it displayed. After laboring over the inscription, I finally pieced together the poorly written sentence:

         Corners are escape.

     

      Without thought or hesitation, I stroked the spines of each corner of the coffin and heard latches snap with each brush. As I reached for the final corner of the coffin and snapped its corresponding latch, I heard a soft ringing overhead.

   

             As the ringing stubbornly proceeded, I awaited another sound, a voice, a shovel. Alas, still, that was all I heard. I resorted to counting seconds on my fingers in intervals of ten, allowing monotony to reduce my disappointment.Nearing four thousand, I heard it: chink. I had heard it. I had heard the sound of freedom, of rescue, of escape. I knocked and beat on the ceiling of my coffin in response, and was rewarded with the satisfying sound of another chink. Gnawing on my fingers, I hopefully listened for more sounds, removing my fingers from mouth only after the coffin was heaved open and I gazed into the cold, shallow eyes of a bearded man. Sharp wrinkles and creases accentuated the corners of his eyes and lips, and his stringy, fraying hair was caked with grease. Without a word, he hoisted me from the coffin, and scanning the vicinity, lay down into the coffin himself, oddly gesturing to me that I should close the coffin.

     

    Vigorously shaking my head and denying his unfathomable request, I silently strode away, tripping over a bell I had not noticed, the bell that had been my salvation.

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Dishonesty and Taking My Own Advice

I recently wrote a post listing strategies I recommend to boost productivity during the long summer days. Although these techniques are helpful and (most likely) effective, I personally can't vouch for their efficacy considering I haven't utilized or practiced them myself. And because I recently returned from an extensive vacation and consequently neglected blogging in its entirety, I decided to test the tips I gave myself. In hindsight, I probably should have tried and tested these tips prior to writing an advisory post about such techniques.

1. Make a Schedule
The first technique I explained in my previous post was creating a summer schedule. This summer schedule to which I refer is not created by randomly marking a blank calendar or chart, but by taking one's school schedule and substituting summer activities for classes. Although apparently complex, this process is actually quite simple and summarized in the image below. I actually thought this was the most helpful of all the techniques I listed, because I've personally had some difficulty staying on task for prescribed amounts of time. (Outside of school, that is.)

2. Turn Off Notifications
Now, this was a relatively easy one. I've never had any issue ignoring the (few) notifications I receive across all of my devices. However, being a computer and technology incompetent guy, the most difficult part of this procedure was figuring out how to disable notifications in the first place. Although I toiled in the settings of my devices for extensive periods of time, I finally figured it out after returning to a manual. This technique was quite helpful in limiting distractions. Although insignificant for myself, I understand how helpful this strategy would be for those that find themselves constantly wandering to their devices, drawn by the illuminated screen and the banners flashing across its surface.

3. Get Organized
This task proved to be quite difficult, primarily because after returning from vacation, my family and I moved to a new temporary house for a month. Consequently, all, and I mean all of my belongings are stowed away in storage or in poorly labeled boxes. (I'm to blame for that one). However, having a set of essential items in my backpack, I finally managed to gather enough materials to create a makeshift, haphazard environment for my summer productivity.

I may have mentioned in my previous post that I had used these techniques and strategies beforehand and they were supremely effective. And if I do say so myself, they are. However, I obviously should have used these strategies before advocating them, and for that I apologize to the select few readers that are viewing both this post and also viewed post preceding it. Until then, I sincerely wish you the greatest of luck in summer productivity, and if these tips were of any assistance to you or someone you know, make sure to leave a comment.

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How to be Productive this Summer

Now that school has finally finished, I find myself at home and primarily unproductive. Mindlessly watching videos and sleeping are two such unproductive activities consequential to the lack of organization and order in my days. I've now learned that with all of this time on my hands, it is imperative that I avoid all couches, mattresses, and electronics, lest I cannot pry my body from a collapsed, resting position or my eyes from a glowing screen.

So, as I thought about any sound advice to give regarding summer productivity, I finally compiled a list of short tips that may aid you in being productive this summer.

1. Make a Schedule
So, I decided to try something interesting: I took my old school schedule, which lists a starting time of 8:15 and ending time of 3:00, and substituted productive summer activities for the classes on this schedule. Thus, my productive activities are equally divided into eighty minute chunks while leaving the afternoon free. However, minor adjustments should be made to compensate for differences in eating times and of course, unnecessary periods for passing between classes. Furthermore, by following a summer schedule that parallels your schedule for school, the transition back to school in a few months will be seamless.

2. Turn off Notifications
Now this one is more difficult, as it requires a concentrated and constant effort to resist enabling notifications again. However, as I have found, by disabling notifications, whether from social media or even e-mail, it is significantly easier to resist returning to these distracting applications and thus detracting from your summer productivity. This is so because the purpose of notifications is to subtly encourage the recipient of such notifications to return to their corresponding application. And, if you're like me and receive constant updates on various platforms and systems, then the cycle is seemingly never ending. But once you disable those pesky notifications, productivity will be easy.

3. Get Organized My final piece of advice, although probably goes without saying, is to remain organized. It's easy during the summer to become disorganized and disordered, but by adopting a pattern of organization during summer similar to that of the school year, you'll not only be productive during the summer, but be prepared to return to school in the fall. Furthermore, by consistently organizing materials prior to beginning a specific summer project, you subsequently limit unnecessary interruptions and distractions.

I hope that this was a helpful post, (because if it wasn't, I wasn't very productive in writing it). Although these steps are all beneficial in bolstering summer productivity, this isn't the only way to be productive during the summer. I advise you to combine these ideas with your own to produce a summer program that is personally effective and efficient. And with that, make sure to enjoy your summer as well.

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List of Must-Reads I Haven't Read

As the school year now concludes, my English teacher decided that as a gift of sorts, she would compile a list of her favorite books and present the list to us. After briefly glancing over the list, I recognized the majority of the books listed, but had only read a few. So, if you're looking for something to read, take a look at this list and see if you feel, perhaps...inspired.

(All titles I have read are listed in bold. I didn't bother indicating which works I recognized because that's just about all of them.)

Novels
The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd
Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
The Giver - Lois Lowry
The Alchemist - Paulo Coehlo
Into the Wild - Jon Krakauer
The Last Lecture - Mitch Albom
Man's Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl
Walden - Henry David Thoreau
The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran
The Velveteen Rabbit - Margery Williams
Emma - Jane Austen
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon
1984 - George Orwell
The Stranger - Albert Camus
War of the Worlds - H.G. Wells
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Doors of Perception - Aldous Huxley
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey
The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
The Big Sleep - Raymond Chandler
The Blind Assassin - Margaret Atwood
Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe
On the Road - Jack Kerouac
Rabbit Run - John Updike
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Brothers Karamazov - Fyodore Dostoevsky
The Call of the Wild - Jack London
Snow Falling on Cedars - David Guterson
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
The Picture of Dorian Grey - Oscar Wilde
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Ulysses - James Joyce
As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner
Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
Charlotte's Web - E.B. White
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - John Le Care
Night - Elie Wisel
The Book of Laughter and Forgetting - Milan Kundera
The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco
The Stories of Eva Luna - Isabel Allende
The Art of War - Sun Tzu
The Passionate God - Rosemary Haughton
A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Flowers for Algernon - Daniel Keyes
Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead - Tom Stoppard
The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
The Odyssey - Homer
Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
The Prince - Machiavelli
The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka
Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
The Screwtape Letters - C.S. Lewis
The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
Cat's Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut
The Godfather - Mario Puzo
Inferno - Dante Alighieri
Something Wicked This Way Comes - Ray Bradbury
Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
The Cider House Rules - John Irving
The Green Mile - Stephen King
No Country For Old Men - Cormac McCarthy
The Princess Bride - William Goldman

Now that is quite a list. And a long one at that. Also, according to this list, apparently I've been reading the wrong books for my entire life. Now I guess the next thing to do would be to actually read the books on this list. But truthfully, this post should more accurately be titled "List of Must-Have Reads I Haven't Read (and Most Likely Never Will)." And I don't know that for certain, but I'll more likely than not start making my way through this list when I have the time to do so, (as in summer or retirement.) Until then, the best of luck on your journey reading and let me know in the comments which novels you have read too.

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Wallowing in the Water

The day I've been dreading the entire semester has arrived - the day when we started swimming during PE.

Now I must admit that because it was a scorching, blistering day, that swimming was refreshing, at least to an extent. Swimming has never been a great talent or skill of mine. Sure, I know how to swim. But if I had been on the Titanic, I'd guess that my chances of survival would have been close to zero. However, if I was asked to relax in the hot tub with my friends for an hour or two, that I could definitely do (and very well.)

There were a couple swimmers/water polo players in my class that obviously swam competitively from how practiced (and fast) they're laps were, but I was content with wallowing in the water. Then again, I certainly wasn't the worst swimmer in my class since some of my classmates were asking me how to swim certain strokes.
                                                       
The pool at my school is actually pretty nice. As in, there are definitely worse bodies of water to be swimming in during a PE class. My greatest hardship swimming during PE would be breathing. The pool at my school ranges from thirteen feet deep to around six feet deep, and because I'm only about 5'4", I'm sure you can guess how difficult it was to keep my head above the water.

But besides the obvious difficulty I experienced while treading water, swimming was actually a lot better than I had expected. We didn't play any games or something fancy like water polo, but it was hot enough that swimming laps across the pool was perfect.

I was fortunate enough to have remembered both a towel and swimming trunks, because there were several kids in my class that forgot both. The majority of them that forgot these swimming (essentials?) just swam in their PE uniform shorts and called it a day. And I would've thought that drying off would've taken forever too, but with all that heat bearing down, I think just about everyone was dry pretty quickly.

Well, I heard that tomorrow we'll be playing water polo, and I'm not quite sure what my opinion is on that. Hopefully there aren't any (good) water polo players in my period, because I've heard from the classes last semester that the experienced water polo players are no joke, as in, throwing the water polo ball behind their backs to score or something ridiculous. (And by ridiculous I mean that I wish I could do.) As for now, I should probably go and practice my own little water polo routine in the bathtub in preparation for tomorrow.

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My First Ever AP Test

Like many other students across the nation, AP testing began today. However, the AP test I completed this morning was not only the first AP test that was administered this year, but my first AP test ever. And I'll have you know that the test definitely earned the title, "Advanced Placement", because the AP test was hands the most difficult test I have ever taken. And that's saying something considering I've already earned D's on several other AP Chemistry chapter exams.

The test began around 8:45, but we entered the testing room around 8:00, not that it really matters. What does matter is the fact that as my classmates and I waited outside the testing room, nervously laughing and chatting, I realized that I had forgotten both my student identification card as well as the card with my AP number. Consequently, for the next thirty minutes, I was scanning the group of people, looking for someone that didn't have their wallet or that wasn't showing someone else those two items (which I still did not have.) 

I was legitimately concerned that I would not be allowed to take the exam. I mean, it is an AP exam, so I was sure stuff like that has happened before. I briefly thought about walking home, but considering it's a thirty minute drive, I figured that wasn't really an option.

So I just went along with it and by the grace of God, I didn't need either items and was able to just take the exam. On second thought, maybe it would've been better if I had been caught without my identification card and my AP number...

Once we finally entered the building to take the test, we were assigned seats. Yes, assigned seats. But now that I think of it, that actually makes decent sense. Either way, as we were filling in our addresses and our names, I couldn't help but notice that my hand was trembling. Like shuddering, as if shock waves were rippling across my palms. Then, to ineffectively calm my nerves, I clenched my pencil, only for it to snap. Don't worry, I brought around ten in case of that exact situation. 

                                                 

We soon started the multiple choice portion of the test, which was some of the most difficult AP Chemistry material ever presented in front of me. (I'm hoping for around fifty percent. If I'm lucky.) After a quick ten minute break, we then took the free response portion, which was strangely easier than the multiple choice, (probably because I was doing all of it wrong.)

Now to bore you some more, the format of the test was:

 60 Multiple Choice Questions in 90 Minutes

+7 Free Response Questions in 105 Minutes

=a whole lot of time spent being tested on a subject I'm not very fond of

And if you plan on taking AP Chemistry this upcoming year, there's more information about it here. Not quite sure why you'd want to, but to each his own. And next year, when you're crying yourself to sleep every night (like I will be doing tonight), don't say I didn't warn you.

As a side note, I'd like to mention that because this test is such a big deal, my high school gave everyone that took the test this morning the rest of the day off. So I guess that's the major positive, (that and the fact if, if I do well I'll get some college credit.) And to all of y'all that took the AP Chemistry test this morning and still have more to come, I wish you luck! 

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Personal Art Gallery

Just in case you haven't already seen my recent art pieces, I formatted this post as an art gallery of sorts so that you may get a chance to peruse my masterpieces. (Just kidding, they're decent, but by no means spectacular.)

(Also, because I had some difficulty organizing and positioning these pictures into the display I wanted them to be, this post won't be as seamlessly put together as I had hoped it to be. My apologies.)

The first piece, a graphite drawing, depicts the hand of my sister as she delicately clutches a twisted rose. Although I wish that I had made the background darker and the petals of the flower lighter, I am content with my drawing. And I must say, this is the best (and only) hand I've drawn.

The carousel horse below is a pen-and-ink drawing, and was thus created by dipping a nib into a bottle of ink and then creating dots. So yeah, this entire, and I mean entire, image is created from meticulously blotted dots.

The final piece I completed this year was a scratchboard. I've always been fascinated by drawing fire and smoke, so I decided to create an image of just that - a burning candle with billowing tendrils of smoke. The most interesting part of this medium was that unlike the pen-and-ink drawing, in which no dark value can be taken away, for scratchboards, no dark value can be added. Consequently, if too much is etched away from the scratchboard, nothing can be done to add value in troublesome areas.

That concludes my display of artwork for the semester. I hope you enjoyed viewing these pieces as much as I enjoyed creating them!

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The Mistress of Death

After reading Truman Capote's chilling novel In Cold Blood, my teacher assigned an essay in which we were to select a criminal and analyze the cause of their criminal actions. However, this paper was to be a persuasive essay in which we would either attribute the actions of the selected criminal to their "nature", as in an inherent tendency for vice and evil, or their "nurture", as in their upbringing.

Having always been fascinated by the criminal tales of the south, I wrote my essay about Madame Delphine, a wealthy slave owner in New Orleans who allegedly tortured her servants with cruel punishments.

As usual, I procrastinated this assignment and consequently drafted, edited, and submitted the essay in a single day. While on vacation. Oh well. Maybe next time I'll make sure to get started early. (No I won't.)

                         

Although the gruesome actions and decisions of criminals are often perceived as inherently immoral, such vice is often caused not by a genetic affinity for malice, but environmental circumstances and upbringing. In relation to the infamous Madame Delphine Lalaurie, though her torture of slaves is an indication of such seemingly inherent evil, as represented through her upbring as well as previous experiences, her violent actions were not induced by an inherited propensity for evil, but are an effect of her environment.

The second child of Louis Chevalier Barthelemy de Macarty and Marie Jeanne Lerable, Delphine was born on March 19, 1787 to the wealthy and politically influential Macarty clan. Financially supported by her family, Delphine married three different men within a couple of decades, living lavishly with each of her suitors. She first married Don Ramon de Lopez y Angullo, a high ranking Spanish officer, whom she wed at the St. Louis Cathedral in New Orleans. Four years into their marriage, the couple ventured to Spain so that Don Ramon may “take his place at court as befitting his new position” (Nealon, Timothy), as he had been promoted in the Spanish military  Unfortunately, Don Ramon died in Havana of an undiagnosed illness. Soon thereafter, Delphine gave birth to a daughter, Maria Borgia Delphine Lopez y Angulla de la Candelaria, and disheartened, returned to New Orleans with her newborn. After a period of grievance, Delphine married Jean Blanque, a man of several noble occupations deemed financially suitable by the superior members of the Macarty clan. Subsequent to Delphine’s official union to Jean Blanque in June of 1808, Delphine secured an expensive property for the new family, later bearing four more children. Paralleling the conclusion of her previous marriage, Blanque also died of an undiagnosed disease. Following another brief period of lamentation, Delphine married a third time. Whereas Delphine’s initial interactions with her previous husbands had been romantic meetings, Delphine was first introduced to Leonard Louis Nicolas LaLaurie after she had hired him to administer treatment to one of her daughters that possessed a rare spinal deformity. Although the burdening condition of Delphine’s daughter steadily improved throughout the marriage of Delphine and Louis LaLaurie, the developing conflict between the couple drove Louis to leave their property and abandon the family with minimal financial compensation. Having experienced immeasurable tragedy in all three of her marriages, rumors soon circulated that Delphine tortured her servants as a crude coping mechanism for the succession of severe difficulty she had endured.

Although several violent incidents had been reported regarding LaLaurie and her mansion, suspicion was especially aroused after the death of Leia, a young slave girl. According to local reports, Leia plummeted to her death as she fled from Madame Delphine, who had threatened to whip the young girl. Consequently, the local council conducted a brief investigation of the LaLaurie manor, ultimately granting all of Madame Delphine’s captive slaves immediate freedom. However, because this verdict had been made without intense analysis or deliberation, the slaves were freed not on account of LaLaurie’s alleged violence, but due to the poor conditions in which the slaves had lived and operated. Thus, though this investigation granted the slaves of the LaLaurie manor their freedom, the investigation did not yield any information regarding the administration of torture as previously speculated. Regardless of the underwhelming lack of evidence, many continued to maintain the perception that “beneath the delicate and refined exterior was a cruel, cold-blooded...insane woman” (Troy Taylor). Outraged at the abrupt loss of her slaves, Delphine, forbidden to repurchase her slaves, circumvented this limitation by covertly arranging for her relatives to purchase the freed slaves on her behalf. Once purchased, the slaves were subsequently returned to the LaLaurie mansion, once again subject to the cruel punishments of Madame Delphine LaLaurie.

Several years after the death of Leia, a fire erupted at the manor the morning of April 10, 1834. The fire not only destroyed the house, singeing both the interior and exterior, but publicly revealed the cruel punishments endured by the slaves of Delphine. As a mass of enraged locals congregated and rescuers entered the manor, the first servant discovered, a seventy year old black woman trapped in the kitchen, explained that as the fire erupted she had been chained in the kitchen while LaLaurie left to gather valuables scattered throughout the property. Although the bondage of the enslaved cook to the kitchen may be argued as an act of inherent evil, this form of torture may be attributed to Madame Delphine’s environment and previous experience. After her third husband deserted her, Madame Delphine developed an irrational fear of loss and general paranoia, resorting to bonding her cook to the manor’s kitchen to prevent any further desertion. Accompanied by a small force of authorities to the attic, the slave cook and the rescuers discovered a dozen slaves bound and choking with spiked collars. This same slave woman later revealed that “she had set the fire to escape LaLaurie’s torture” (A Torture Chamber is Uncovered). The Sheriff never arrived to subdue Madame LaLaurie, thus providing LaLaurie the proper circumstances to evade arrest and flee to France. Furthermore, although charges were never formally filed against Delphine LaLaurie, “her reputation in upper-class society was destroyed” (A Torture Chamber is Uncovered), and she never returned to New Orleans. Consequential to the lack of legal action and law enforcement, the amassing crowd rushed into the mansion, ransacking the contents of the manor, but unsuccessfully detaining Madame LaLaurie, as she had already fled.

With the fire extinguished, several local newspapers documented the gruesome details of brutalization that the rescued slaves accounted following their liberation. According to one newspaper, the slaves recounted a variety of obscure forms of torture, all of which “had been administered so as to not bring quick death” (Taylor, Troy), including: their bones being broken and reset in crude and unnatural positions holes being drilled into their heads, the skin of their backs being peeled back so that the muscle and tissue were exposed to the air, being coated with honey and black ants, and their intestines being removed and subsequently wrapped around their waists. As determined through documents salvaged from the charred mansion, Madame Delphine LaLaurie consistently referred to these inhumane acts of cruelty as simply “experiments” rather than “torture.” Therefore, because Madame Delphine LaLaurie used this particular term instead of the alternative “torture,” a critical distinction remains in Delphine’s differentiation  between these two terms and that which they entail. Many speculate that because of this peculiarity in reference to the cruelties of Delphine, she had conducted these “experiments” so that she may discover a cure for her daughter’s spinal disfigurement herself, by means of experimentation, of course. Therefore, if this argument were true, regardless of Delphine’s distinction between “torture” and “experimentation”, because Delphine’s intentions were with reason and for the sake of improving her daughter’s health, her violent actions are not an indication of an inherent nature for evil. Thus, Delphine’s actions are consequential effects to her environment and specific circumstances rather than heritable vice.

Once it had been recognized that all of Delphine’s victims were black, she was henceforth accused of prejudice against blacks, acting upon this prejudice through the administration of torture. However, during this time period, especially in the southern states, prejudice was common practice. Thus, if Delphine were prejudiced against blacks, because such prejudice was a societal norm, the argument that Delphine’s violence stemmed from inherent evil entails that the majority of the southern population was also born with tendencies for evil, when such people, Delphine included, were simply practicing the societal norm of their environment - superiority over blacks. Conversely, Delphine was also accused of racially specific torture due to jealousy over the affairs of her male relatives, including her father, with black mistresses. Therefore, if Delphine were either accepting the prejudicial norm of her environment or torturing black slaves due to the affairs of her relatives with black slaves, her violent actions are still incapable of attribution to an inherent nature. Regarding both arguments, Delphine’s practice of torture was an effect of her upbringing, as in prejudice toward blacks, and her environment, as in the affairs of her male relatives.

      Throughout her life, Madame Delphine LaLaurie endured a torture of sorts herself in preceding years. She married three times, her first two husbands dying of undiagnosed causes, while her third abruptly deserting her and her children. Furthermore, LaLaurie’s daughter, for whom she had temporarily secured spinal treatment, was left uncured. As indicated, it therefore was not solely the inherent lack of morality that spurred Delphine LaLaurie to commit such brutal acts of torture, but the tribulations she experienced throughout her life. Although Madame Delphine LaLaurie’s torture of slaves was by no means morally justified, as indicated through analysis of her environment and upbringing, it is apparent that her violence should not be attributed to an innate affinity for evil, but instead regarded as an effect of her nurture.

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New Series: Things That Distract Me

Soon, I'll be starting a new series. As you can see, it'll be all about things that distract me. And as a high school student that has a knack for avoiding homework by any means possible, I'm sure you can guess that like many other high school students, there are a whole lot of things that I'm easily distracted by. Whenever I'm feeling particularly distracted, I'd argue that my go-to is either entertaining myself with YouTube videos or napping for an hour (or two).

I won't go into too much detail about how this new series of posts will be formatted, but if you can think of something that distracts you, chances are that it distracts me as well (perhaps to an even greater extent.)

However, these posts won't only cover what distracts me, but why it distracts me as well. And I'd argue that the list of reasons is longer than the list of distracting things. So this post isn't going to be some extravagant explanation or description, but it is important just to kind of set things up. So there you go. And I hope you're as excited for this new series as I am. (Although I admit, I'm not really all that excited.)

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Fined Out the Truth

Today I remembered something and I don't know why. It's quite common of me to forget why I've entered a room, only to remember upon exiting, and other things of that sort, but something important slipped my mind the past few weeks. I suppose I've been preoccupied with projects and whatnot, but as soon as I remembered, I knew exactly what would be awaiting me.

A fine. And a big one too.

A while back I went to the local library to stock up on reading material. And sure, I felt accomplished and motivated, thinking that I'd burn through my collection of books even with other things to do. So I did finish the books I had checked out. And I applaud myself on that. Now what I don't applaud myself on was neatly stacking these books in a corner of my room, at an angle they weren't really visible, and forgetting about them.

I had several opportunities to return these books, but since I couldn't see my neat stack save from a specific vantage point, I didn't bother. Unfortunately, my lack of remembrance caused an unpleasant surprise to build up, that is, a fine of over twenty dollars. And I know that doesn't seem like a lot of money (and it isn't), but that's what my lifetime supply of gathered pennies and loose change just about amounts to, and I'm not ready to throw my life savings away to an overdue library fine. Now the local library is quite clever with their fine policy, because if a library-goer has a fine of over ten dollars, (that's me), they are no longer able to check out books.

Which means I can't. (I'm assuming other libraries have a similar policy?)

Now what can I do to scrap together those twenty dollars? I have a few options:

And with that decision, I'll either be neglecting my brain by not reading, be on the run from the local police, or just loan books from one of my sibling's library accounts instead. I'm probably going to go with the latter, but if for whatever reason you ever catch me in the local prison, you'll know why.

What's the biggest library (or other) fine you've had? Let me in the comments below!

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Election Selection

This week we had student elections and let me tell you, some speeches were quite amusing. The student elections at my particular high school vary from those at other high schools in the regard that whereas many student elections are pretty serious, the election we just had was overflowing with self-deprecating jokes and humor. Consequently, the candidates elected at my high school aren't necessarily the most qualified or experienced, but the funniest (and perhaps strangest). As I mentioned, I guess it's a new electoral strategy or something to emphasize any unappealing personality or physical qualities while neglecting to highlight any redeemable traits.

For example, the only speech I remember from last year was one in which some kid explained to the audience that because he had the biggest ears around, and I quote, "we're talking bigger than Dumbo's ears, as in, [I] can fly with these ears", he should be elected for some offhand student government position. And I guess in the end it worked because a year later I remember it. And on top of that, although that comment threw me off during my decision-making last year, I ended up voting not for the candidate, (but for the candidate's ears), and apparently so did everyone else, because he won and that was it.

The Voting Process:
So my school is obsessed with being "tech savvy," so rather than just printing off ballots and having us fill them out, we were all sent a Google Form to complete. Now I have the easiest time remembering names, but since the majority of human beings do not, there was some conflict with this voting process when no pictures were included of the candidates last year, just plain black and white names. (They weren't even bold.) Fortunately, this year it had been decided that pictures would be included with the names so that lack of remembrance wouldn't be an issue. Again.

My Experience:
Now to my experience running for student government. I was in sixth grade and I was so excited to be Secretary. (And since I was the only candidate running I won.) But it required a whole lot of work and effort not only to get elected, but to be Secretary. I had to type out weekly minutes (which mind you, no one except me read.) And although I certainly enjoyed my time as tyrant, after my year of being Secretary, my political conquest had been abruptly cut short when I ran for Vice President in seventh grade and lost. And even though practically everyone was certain I'd win, I didn't. (I attribute that loss not to the fact that I was less popular, (okay maybe I was), but I mainly attribute it to the fact that for my speech I read off an acrostic I wrote which spelled out Vice President. Which in the end amounted to too much speaking. So there you go.)

On top of that, my dad had guessed that my speech was far too long, suggesting that I instead spell out just "Vice Prez." But being the adamant child I was, I opted to spell out the entire word and suffer the disappointment of losing. Well I know now that if I ever decide to run for "Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives" not to spell out the word for my speech.

Consequently, with my political career over before I had even gotten to high school, I had to cross "Become President of the United States" off of my bucket list. No worries. I'll settle for being governor. Or mayor. Whichever comes first.

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Extreme Memory Challenge

Let's break down the name of this test, shall we?
Extreme - This test certainly did test the capacity of my memory to the highest degree. In fact, I felt quite helpless while taking it.
Memory - This is pretty self-explanatory. You remember things with your memories and your memory that you remember in your memory, if that makes sense. (I know it doesn't.)
Challenge - To call this test a simple "Challenge" would be an understatement. Then again, my results (contrary to my experience with remembering names) stated that "9293 of the 14359 people that have so far completed this task have performed worse than you did." With simple math that means that 5066 people performed better than me and that I scored in the 64.7 percentile. And wow, those statistics sound pretty poor out loud.

I first noticed  this lil' test when I saw an advertisement for the "extreme memory challenge." I've always considered my memory to be impeccable. I seemingly never forget names, even after first greetings. So even when I'm not friends with someone or I don't know them personally, I usually know both their first and last names, which I can tell you makes for some interesting interactions when we finally are introduced. And because I remember names so well, I started to take this test with the expectation that it would be quite easy.

However, after reading the general guidelines, I soon realized that this test was called the "Extreme Memory Challenge" for good reason. The first few minutes of the test consist of the presentation of a face and a name which you are apparently supposed to memorize and somehow associate within ten seconds. And sure, it might be easy to pick up a few names and faces within that limited timeframe, but after I saw around twenty names and faces I just looked at the pictures without any recognition or retention in my short term memory.

And understandably, to make the test a lot more difficult, the pictures were in black and white. That's right, so if the people in the pictures did have any distinguishing features (blue eyes, distinct hair color, etc.), remembering such features wouldn't help you when taking the test since they were never displayed to begin with.

Here's a sampling of profiles from the actual challenge. For the test, the pictures and names that were individually presented in the beginning of the test were reorganized into grids with a name and a face you were (supposed) to pair together. Apparently I wasn't that great at it since I only got sixty percent correct.

So this test certainly was interesting, and in my case, (hopefully) inaccurate since I pride myself on my memory. But if these test results don't lie, don't bet on me remembering your name.

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A New Obsession

As I may have mentioned, I maintain the policy of not having any, and I mean any games on any of my devices. Mainly because I know that once I've downloaded a game, I've already passed the point of no return. As in, once-I-download-it-that-is-all-I'm-ever-going-to-do. Quite frankly, I already have too many things available to distract me from any homework that I should be doing, including eating (my personal favorite), sleeping (only naps though), lounging (now that's what I'm talking about), and of course, the infamous YouTube.

As you may have guessed, YouTube is the greatest distraction of all. The main reason YouTube is such a struggle is because whenever a teacher of links a video related to a homework assignment that opens in YouTube... Well, that's just asking for it because once YouTube has been opened, it certainly isn't closing. And the worst (or best, depends on how you look at it) part of YouTube is the fact that once you've watched a few videos related to a certain topic, more and more videos related to the same topic appear on the side panels and the second the video is finished.

Essentially, I could waste several hours mindlessly entertaining myself with videos.

Now, dealing with YouTube is one thing, dealing with a game on a device is a completely different situation. And although I have thus far maintained a strict policy of not having any games on my devices, I decided today was the day for a petty indulgence. So, with reluctance but also relief, I download the absolute best game ever,
                              ,

a glorious game that is arguably educational. I mean, the basic premise is that you make words. And words are educational right?

In a single day, I've become so engrossed in this game (which I wanted to prevent all along), to the extent that I've been screenshotting ghe "highlights" of my endeavors as if this is a sport. So now I clearly see the point that parents and teachers share regarding games: they're distracting. And I testify that yes, in fact they are. Here's the evidence to prove it:

2.7 Hours! Or, when converted into minutes: a lot. And when also converted into time wasted: a lot. Worth it though. (Not really I'm just trying to convince myself that it was.)

 And here comes the "highlight" reel we've all been waiting for. (And by all I mean no one). 

My first ever Tournament victory:

                                               

And that's about it. Sorry to bore you. That's all for now. (Look, I was desperate for posting content and this is the best I've got so that's how it's going to be unfortunately.)

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